Do you have friendships where you can be vulnerable, speak your truth and explore every inch of your soul completely free of judgment? Or, do you hold back in fear of being seen a way that’s anything less than your idea of perfect? Or maybe you’ve just stopped trying to make those connections because it can feel HARD to make friends as an adult, am I right?
Let’s unpack where this may be coming from, and then take a look at what letting those walls down may mean for you, shall we?
When did we become so disconnected?
We all have this lizard-brain fear of being outcast from our social circle that stems from our fun times as cavepeople. If we were seen as weak, we would be outcast and soon after we’d meet our untimely demise, probably by some sabre-toothed tiger or another scary beast of some sort.
This fun auto-programming causes us to hold back in times when we need to be seen the most. Plus, I think we can all remember times where we’ve been on both the giving and receiving end of catty interactions! This fosters mistrust, side-eyes, and a fear of repeating the same experiences.
With all this mistrust among women, it’s pretty normal to find yourself questioning the authenticity of the interactions around you. Paired with the deep rooted hurts we’ve experienced lifetime after lifetime (hello witch wounds!), our walls are up.
Add to the equation things like work, home care, soccer practices, and more work, we have lost the ability to prioritize deep self-care, and have placed wine dates and bitch fests ahead of those soulful, meaningful relationships. Let’s be honest. While these interactions can feel good in the moment, they’re often a bandaid fix in place of what we actually need.
We need the type of friendships that have us feeling so deeply supported, regardless of what our story may be, that give us confidence and the type of love that we can’t really get from our spouse or children.
(And, I won’t even get into the masculine-driven state that society has been in, which puts us in a weird space where asking for help and support is seen as a sign of weakness).
So What Now?
Rebuilding our trust in women involves work.
It has to begin with us. I will go into this in an upcoming blog post, but this includes owning our shadow, reclaiming what brings us joy, facing our fears and releasing limiting beliefs (also all things we’ll cover in Awaken, which launches January 7th!). We do this because when we can remember who we are, it gives us a foundation for what we’re willing to stand for, and it also shows us the type of women we deserve to be surrounded by.
Alongside this inner work, we have to trust that we are only going to be given exactly what we can handle, and this includes working through any fears around being seen in new situations by new people. Unfortunately, I don’t think a dating app for meeting soul sisters has been invented yet (business idea?). It’s a good thing that over 3 billion people have access to the internet, and there’s bound to be a few that have interests that align with yours!
Of course, my absolute FAVOURITE space on all of the internet to do exactly this is the Rise Up Sisterhood private community over on Facebook. I created this space to foster the type of community where I could have the connections that I describe in this post. Through this, I have met some of the most incredible women. I have grown spiritually, and I have felt loved, heard and honoured in a way that I haven’t ever felt before.
Another beautiful option is to connect with soulful women in person at a Sisterhood Circle, currently held here in the lower mainland. They happen multiple times each month! Find an upcoming Sisterhood Circle here.
Allow yourself the gift of vulnerability. Try something new that lights you up. Explore the things you have put on the backburner. Find the women you can watch bare their souls, then find the courage to do the same. The more you surround yourself with the women willing to put their necks out and go first, the more you’ll see that you’re not alone. There’s safety in knowing that others have similar stories to you! Or, maybe they have had completely out there, wild experiences, and this can give you that piece of mind that you too can share free from judgment.
Sister, you deserve this. See you in the community xoxo.